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About Varied / Hobbyist ↓Stevan Vicar DaudzOther/United States Recent Activity
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                                                       No, YOU are the demons!
                                                                                          -The Radio, DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
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“Waz goin on here!! X-plain youselvers, Ahnold and Rhumbra!!” demonded ROFLPAULLL!!!
Ahnold sighed, (authors note: he was no longer Zirconium Billy but stilly kept Plutonium Billy in his heart, becuss he had learnt the value of hooman life)
“It iz as plain as the nose on Adrian Brody's face...... YOU made this sucking fukking fic!”
… the udder horror of Ahrnld s revealation took 4 moments to sink in...
                                                                                               . . .
                                                                                                          . . .
                                                                                                                      . . .
                                                                                                                                    . . .

NOOOOOOO0000000000000000000ooooooooooooooo()()()()()00000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

But, butt, how???????” asked da Scottish guys, more confused than wen Achebe first came on to them.
“Me and mah BFFF, das RhumrurRa, went back in time to implant the fanfic in yer mindz, using ur OWN INNOCENT PRINTER! Then you acted out tha story unconciously!!” said der Ahnold
“It is true said the Rhumbra”
“Wiff mah reality-bending powers, time travel iz easy as taking a shit!   Literally!  I suck up tachyons and poop them out behind me, moving me back and froth on der timeline, much like ur primitiv hoomon motorboats...”
“That makes so little sence, I don;t even know where to start...” said Mangolin
“Why complain?? YOU WROTE IT..” said Ahnold and Rutabaga hypnotically.
“This isn't over!!!”' said Lion-Heart!
“Yes, we will meet again, forever, and ever, and ever...” parodied za Rhumba “Anyway, see ya. Ahnold's gotta give ME to a certain President, and collect a shite-ton fo US Gov't defence monies!!!”
“Time for ME TO GET TO MY CHOPPAH!!” Ahnolf said animatronicelly. The Rhumbah pooped out a tricked-out motercycle, perfect for Ahnold's sweet butt. They revved up, and THEY SCHWOOPED BACK IN TIM!!!
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                                                    \/ /\/ /
                                                   / /\/ /\
                                                  / /\ \/) \
                                                   \ `'\ `' /
                                                   `--'`--'
  “It can't end like thiz”    
The Fellowshp of da Fic fell silent... dey fought about all teh people whom helped them on their journey... They thought abut Craig Ferguson... Samus Prime... Samara... Willow... Machete... Obarnold... The Modern Engrish Writing League of Netherlands (who is dead now)...
...and they thought about Ebony's fishnetz...
All of their  sacrifices wood be for nought if they went thru with dis...
They thought about the sacred oath they hd took those many years ago.  They vow That dey would stand against the scourge of heinously anus fanfiction uptil their dying breath!
And now... it was they themselves, here, now, instantly, that would compost the bratwurst  fanfic of all.... the fanfic that would end the world, LOL.
“Let it go, Mango.  Said Lionheart  Wutever happens next, we'll still 'ave each odder.”
“And coke.  Always we'll have coke.”  said ROFLPaul squeegying Cola out of Lionhearts udders.
“But we dong have to do dis!”
“Yes we do, so it was writ in.:”
“Uh yeah, by US.”
“So you see, we can't fight the fate that is already in stone.”  he held up da printer printings “Eben if that stone is paper.”
“But don't u retarts get it?!!? D-X  We can LITERALLY write our OWN destiny!!!!”
“Yeah but its already been decided how da story gropes.”
“Decided by the story that was by US.”
“Look Mr. Plothole, ipso dosn't matter to me-o whatcha say-o...  in 3 stanzas you're gna agree wiff us, Anna way.”
Na-uh!!!!
Yeah-huuuh!!!
OK
So they put on their cokes and set to work.
And that's the way it was.

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                                            Everything that has a beginning has an end, Neo.

                                                                                                                -Agent Smith #59125168001, The Matrix Revolutions

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And that's the way it vase.

Aufger many years of craft & meditation, the trio DID IT.  they also wrote this suck fic.
And not a moment too soon.   Fo rizzle.

For as they hurryingly begun typing this last sentence, ….holding hands...

they could hear the steadily growing whistle of incoming missiles.......

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                                                                        ENUFF!
                                                                                                -RoflPaul

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A Random Scottish Fanfic ENDING
DISCLAIMER:
This passage is not intended to defame or implicate any heretofore mentioned individuals or parties.
The primary characters are loosely based on actual persons.  Their group occupation is to critique bad fanfiction, and the goal is merely to emulate that badness and provide a good laugh.
Please support the efforts of LRM Reading on youtube by watching their videos.  www.youtube.com/user/LRMReading
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                           “♫You can stand under my rhumbrella, ella, ella ella, eh, eh, eh, EH EH!♪”

                                                                            -The Self-Aware Rhumbra, A Random Scottish Fanfic

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The hill was alive with the sound of Dark Powers agglomerating into a artefact of pure puerility.
They went over top and looked over the top.  Wiffin seeing distance waz da evil authors.
They could nut seee da faces because they were wearing cokes.
Ahnold & Rhumbra came.
ROFLPaul wagged his fingah at Ahrnold.  “Now keep dat Rhumbra under control. Dom't let it get in any funny busniz.”
“Affirmative ;-]” Ahnold omenously say
“Okey dokey smokey,” said one of da cloaked figures on his mobile PDA.  “The 'package' is ready, TIM TO SEND...”
“We must stop them! Powerz Rngers attack!” Send RofLPAULLL

PuB dismounted from Lionheart and merged wiff the T-101/rhumbra to achieve its Final Form....
Zirconium Billy!!!
Zirconium Billy fired al the heat seeker missles.  They detonated leaving a crater 1 billion miles wide.
Kongo used Focus Ethergy!
Lion-Heart (who'd unfused from Pootonium Billy a sec ago, and therefor was allotted a sperate move during the present turn) used  Block!
RoflPaul used  Grand Calamity Symphony18-hit Chain Attack!
The three scottish friends activated their Trinity Limit!      “1... 2...GARDYLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!”
They sent down a firey meteor of scottish wit at them, like dat one naruto scene w/ Madara Uchiha<3<3<3!   The blast was on target, right smack dab into the cloaked enemie's angus.
“3...2...1...AND DONE!” everybod did a hi 5    “YIPPEE!   -^_^-” squeed Ahnold  
The Random scotch guys huffed lik dey had just done a 3-way corkscrew in a Hotel Motel Holiday Inn steamroom.
W/ dat last Big Bang Bro Barrage, the crater had grown by 2 trillion miles.
Dey looke and in da center was the bodies of da myztery cloak people.  Their hoods had falled off.
They gasped!
It was.............................................................................................2 random guys and a scottish pony.
A Random Scottish Fanfic Chapter 16
DISCLAIMER:
This passage is not intended to defame or implicate any heretofore mentioned individuals or parties.
The primary characters are loosely based on actual persons.  Their group occupation is to critique bad fanfiction, and the goal is merely to emulate that badness and provide a good laugh.
Please support the efforts of LRM Reading on youtube by watching their videos.  www.youtube.com/user/LRMReading
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                                                        “I am probably a pseudo-intellectual.”
                                                                                                        -Craig Ferguson

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The pwnt twins join back into one withering mass....
 Suffenly IT tried to GROW AGAIN b4 Lionheart, PuB, Manno, and RoflPaul gave it DA FINGER!!
... IT shrank until IT only was A Rhumbra once more.

“There you are! -__-'
Brock Obama strode in on his stallion.  He was strung up like Stradivari.  
“I said I told you to keep hold of that rumbra!  It gets upset and acts out and makes such messes when none looks after it! 'o' ”
“OK We sorry” said our Tartan Team of Scottish Trustees.  The gave back him  the naughty Rhumbra”
"Can I ask a personal query?" Asked Maπgo.
"Ask away, my child!" Said Obama-llama with the purring Rhumbra.
"Isn't it exceedingly dangerous to leave advanced weaponry in the hands of government officials with little to no practical knowledge of the science behind it, especially when they regard the value of human life as a mere talking point for their next speech?" Asked Maπgo.
"$audi Arabia, UAE, and Pakistan get along just fine without decent science education, and I believe it's important that we share notes with our allies. ^*^" Answered Obama.
"Isn't it also incredibly stupid for the USA to outspend the rest of the world in paying for the research projects of multi-national defence companies, considering that they have no qualms about selling US tax-funded hardware designs to US rivaling governments?" Asked Lionheart.
"Well, as long as no one else gets nuclear weapons, we're satisfied. ^-^" said Obama.
"Lastly, isn't it a short-sighted-gamble for the USA to throw money and resources at various countries and military factions, many of which have differing or even hostile interests to the US, all in a misguided attempt to police the world that is doomed to end in bankruptcy?" Said ROFLPaul.
"It works with Israel, and it used to work with Iraq a few decades ago, back when Saddam was a team playuh! -_-" Said Obama, getting agitated.
"But-" said one of the Sottish Guys.
"That's enuff shoe-horned-in polical commentarry.' Interupptrd the Prez. " Let me ask YOU a question: Did ya vote for me???"
"No." Said our Scottish Hero's. "We're Scottish. We're from Scotland."
"Then I don't have to listen to what ju say. ;)" said the Obama. Obama tunred away from our Hero's, then turned into Ahnold. He came to Ahnold."
"Goodby, my esteamed colleaque! ^_^" said Obama
"Get to da choppah. ^_^" said Ahnold
And Obama-sama got in da choppah. '''I need 2 get back two the USA,USAP! It's time for me and my Congress Bros to rigg the next Presidential Eructation for Charlie Sheen. And may God bless tha Jnited States of Amurica!"
"Wurd up, Obeezy!" Said God
The Prez flu away, but little did he know ,.........,..,...:........
DAT THE RHUMBRAQQ WAZ ESCAPIN HIS POCKET!! IT dropped frum the Airforce 0ne and schwooped into...,....,.....,.....:.... Ahnold's HAND!
“Hurry,” Arno sad horridly, “Ifjju wanna save the worldU must be swifter than Taylor Swift!”
                                                                 .--..--.
                                                                / .. \.. \
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                                                                 \/ /\/ /
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                                                                \ `'\ `' /
                                                                 `--'`--'

“But I fought we already saved da wurld, groaned  Pontoon gnome Billy, “w/o so much as a medal or a hand/penis shake from Angie Jolie”
“The rumbra was only the beginning... B-l” corrected Arnie Swarzi
“I am a harmless little rhumbra. ^ - ^   ” said the Rhumbra sweetly
“The fanfic is the TRUE THREA'T” Ahnold gambited in his sexy ethnic voice
“Once this fanfic is transmitted on the World Wide Web, it will insight MAD... starting with South Korea's last Taepodong will chain reaction into complete nuclear holocaust....”
“Den hows about we waltz into South Korea and show dat man-child Kum Jung Un a different “type o dong!!?!” RoflPaul said engagingly
“Sour Korea will sustain heavy fallut, u would not survive.”  TAhnold stopped him ezily wiff hiz biceps. “The mor logicul strategm is to kill da source...” he pointed over the hill @ Sicily...” Right ovah there”
“How doo you know!” asked Marlo nerfishly
Harold poinked again.  Now they noticed all da dark energy swirling around Sicily, the kind that kan only be conjered by the evilist and gayest of fanfic forgers.
1...2...3...4.... our scottish crusaders chanted, CHAAARGE!!!” :D They charged.
!!!!
Ahrnold followed smugly, his smiling Rhumbra in hand, fully content with the artful progression of their legerdemain.
A Random Scottish Fanfic Chapter 15
DISCLAIMER:
This passage is not intended to defame or implicate any heretofore mentioned individuals or parties.
The primary characters are loosely based on actual persons.  Their group occupation is to critique bad fanfiction, and the goal is merely to emulate that badness and provide a good laugh.
Please support the efforts of LRM Reading on youtube by watching their videos.  www.youtube.com/user/LRMReading
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                                                                            “Good Grief…”
                                                                                                          -Charlie Brown


 
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The Rum Bra had RETURNED!!!!
“Gasp!” they gasped!
“You mortals shall now pay for your UNWISE INSULT!!!!” Said IT.
“No no plz!” They said with fear!
“NOW, YOU SHALL SUFFER SUFFERING!!!!!!!!!!!:” IT unleashed ITS’ true power!
“Noooo000OOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!” The LRM Crew began to feel doomed.
“Bwahahahha!!” The Rumba began to do the Salsa!!!!!
“Anyboby feelz liek eatin Mexicon?” aksed RoflPau;l?
But the Rhumbra’s evil dance was not finished. It was actualluy a ritual to unlewsh the true POWER of the Wupeorim, the outer-world version of Transformers no Justu!1!! The Rhumbra changed and became different! IT split apart!!
BooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO00000000000ooooooooooooooom!!
The smoke mist clears. IT was two new ITS!!!!!!
It was............................................................................... THA WEASLEY TWINZ!!!!!!!!
They was like the twins from das Shining! Except ginger, so they were even creepier!
“WE are the Rhumbra…” The Gingers say.
“That’s it?? YOU TWO are da bad guys??” Demanded Mangon “I was expecting something something a little more scary.”
“Like what? Ask the Evil Ginger Brothers
“Maybe The Olsen Twins?!” Chimed in PonyLion<3 with wit.
“1-2-3” The Scottish Alliance chanted. “BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRN!!!”
The gingers were swallowed by das flames! Hellz yeah…
BUT IT WAZ NO GOODT!!!!! They not only survived the fire, they relished it!!
“Bwhahahahahahahahhaaa! lol.” Bwahahahed the Brothers of the Rhuma…
“Oh noes, we forgot about Fire being weak on Ginger!!” Our Heros said panicked!”!!!
“Yes. Now you shall DIE, LionHeart, RoflPaul & Mango! We began this story, but now we shall end it!” The Twin threatenered
“Well, at least I get to have my name spelled right before death.” Said M#aëGëfgëëS74!%^*hgo

“QUICK, HUDDLE TIME!” yelled RoflPaul
“The Weasleys of MC Rhumbra shall allow you to make thou pitiful plan, as it doth doy you no good!!!
“Ok, time for a new gay plan. How do we defeat these insufferable snobs?” asked Lion
“There is logically no way, Captain.” Said MangSpocko. “Because these basturds wrote the story, they’er in control of everthing, they can anticipate our every move, even read our thoughts!!!”
“Oh no, really?” said RoflPaul. He tried to not thought about how sexy he looked in a tu-tu.
“OMG u look so sexy n dat outft!” Said TWIN like gay people.
“Missa gots it!!” shouted Magno jar-jarringly. He looked at the nasty Gingers. “Ju might be in control of das stryo, but you can’noot control youz immature emotional rëaction to da story!! YoU canT write anathang else!2@ IFyour laughing to hard.”
“Haha, Jar-jar issa so dumbsa.” Said thesa Twinz, illwustwating thissa point.
“Wo jost hove to moke thom lough uosong tho stopodost form of homo homor possoblo.” Sod RoflPol while doing the Gookie.
The Gingers repressed a giggle.
“My sack of bollucksack is dipped in gravy. Imma find sum bloodhounds to twerk wiff.” Said Mangdong
“If Michael Bay filmed an autobiography, maybe he could finally blow HIMSELF up ,AMARITE?”
LionPony covered his mouth with his hoof, muffling, “I live on a pirate ship!” He said nautilusly.
“ENOUGH!!!!” Said der Ginger Mënaces!   In their rage, the ground beneeth them quacked, Tearin' our precious blue planet a new one, swallowing the whole city of Deutchland until it was as a mammoth Goatse upon the Earth!
“Where's my pamphlet?” asked Lionheart sternly
ROFLPAUL had an idea... He got out his Motorola which was still shite but it was also useful .he called ..,.,......AHNOLD!!
"Gorteneemal!" Said der Govahnatah "What do you desire, meatbag? I'm busy doing things."
“Here's wat we need...” said Scotty  
                                                      .--..--.
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                                                      \/ /\/ /
                                                      / /\/ /\
                                                     / /\ \/) \
                                                     \ `'\ `' /
                                                      `--'`--'

The Rhumbra Siblings, meanwhillow were ranting.
“That’s not real comedy! REAL comedy is more like-” Booooooooooom! AHNOLD cum from nowhere to TERMINATE TWINS BECAUSE ‘MURICA!!!
“NooooooooooOOOOO()()()OOO0000000000OOOOOOOOOO00()()()()()0000OOooo!!!!!!!!!”
dër twin’s angus had a serius case of butthurt!! THey mooed ein pain1!!!
“No Please!” begged tha twins.  They tried a gookie to appease him.
PUT THAT GOOKIE DOWN!!!!!
Ahnold smacked their faces clean off their faces.  Clean that is... accept for all the blood...
 
 
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“[T]he odd thing about English is that no matter how much you screw sequences word up up, you understood, still, like Yoda, will be.   ...English is flexible: you can jam it into a Cuisinart for an hour, remove it, and meaning will still emerge.”

                                                                                                                            -Douglas Coupland, Generation A

 
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 \/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /  / /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\/ /\ / /\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \ \ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\`'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'\ `'/ /  `--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'`--'

  The people went through the sewer they came upon da tenant landlordz.....Das TMNTs!!!
" Cont let you dudes through w/0 answearing da sercret question, dude!" The Ninja Amphibians say . "Da question wille prove your good at Englishing. It will like totes show you're worthiness to enter this sarcred layer of The English languadge!'
*0K, lol" saud the LRM squad
"Tha totally tubular secret qestion iz: Do you even English?" Said thr TNTs
"I got this lol.* said RoflSteven. "I be REALLY GOOD @ English! Sometimes, I £nglish so hard that I Scottish!!"
The TNMTs bowed and let them in.
the secret headquarters of MERLIN was a sight to behold it was really really big and it had marvelbuttresses everywhere studded with sexy diamonds and Joules. It was too bad it was all in a sewer coved in rat guano and thar wuz gatorz snappin @ everyone heels.
" U can enter our evil lair anytime u wishy . Just go in thru any baffroom in Clog City!" The vfox sad
Rofle Paul didn't like that idea. he hadn't had such good luck with bathyspheres so far on dis trip.
"So wat is MERLiN?".

(author's note: their guess about MERLINn being an organ nation was right on the money just so none of us get lost OK. ('3 )

So ya MERlIN used to be Merkle the wizard like in king Author times.  But he was old so he  ended a legacy.  THIS is that legacy ur standing in it rite now!
"really I thought that was the guano" RoflPaul  rolfed.
How dare u!?" Said the voice witch was actually Achebe lik we've ben lurning in hi schol
"Me personally I'm Justin standing n a killer crocs mouff" Palladium Billy commented helpfully.  "It's OK though he can chew thru da platinum"
"¿but what does Merlin stand for anyway?" Assed Manifold , trying to keep us on Tupac.
Achebe answered da question.... "The Modern English Riters League In da Neverlands !!"
"Өur evil orgy has been looking every wear 4 suck ass fics.  Then we send them to rehab wiff our comb brined skills."
Aside from Achebe, thar stood the other greats of Engrish litatr at the platinum.   On the one corner was Marty Shelly on the other was Jack London, betwizt was Mark Twain ,Lord Byron, JK Rowling and... Stephenie Meyer. he was just here for the free coffee unt donuts
"present us with your suck butt-ass Fick" dey said wisindly
Màng0t stubbed forth an gave them da fic
Jack Longjohns was 1st he took one look and committed seppuku with a white fang.   then came Mary Shelley, she lasted a little longer but then took a draft of nicht shade.   then there was Lord Byron. (quotation mark) the horror!!!!!" He decreed. he got eaten by a killer croc that's snuckt behind them.       Mark Twain was able to with stand a few pages because of his since for humer but he too succumbed to the darkness.  he drowned himself under 20 feet of water.
now it was Stephanie Meyers turn to edits.he changed a few words with thesaurus but mostly got crumbs on it. he handed it back to them.  "should be fine now" HE said.
uns last was JK Rowling, she looked long and hard at da story.  she looked up at the three handsmom Scottish guys, and den with a smack of her lips, said:" I'd ship it..."
"go now and never return" Achibi said looking upon his ruined orgy.
They started to go.
acHebe pulle d out a stick of TNT...       “Vat the hell.”


                                                         .--..--.
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                                                        \ \/\ \/ /
                                                         \/ /\/ /
                                                         / /\/ /\
                                                        / /\ \/) \
                                                        \ `'\ `' /
                                                         `--'`--'


The scottish randomizers began to feel doomed. If the grand master sensei s could not repulse the evil syntax of this fic, what hope lied with lowly senpai s such as themselves?
`”WHO're U CALLING A SENPAI YOU ICHI-BAN BAKA KUSO DESU!!!??? “ desued Mango-kun  “I went to college, ye effing plebs Xp”

Just then, they heard a boooom! and everything fell apart.  PuB, Mambo and RoflPaul gasped and ran away from Achebe's expo.
“Later dudes!” Da TMNT Turtles said ninjaly as they exploded.
Explosiion flamed in-X-orably down da passage.  It plunged toward our hapless harrowed heros.
And... it began to chase.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
9000 ft away, 20 ft, 1 FEET!!!
Oh No.  they taught.  One more ' toward this furious funky fireball and they would be done for!
¿"now what do we do 00?" Axed PtB? As dey began to panick.
Suddenly a toilet lid lit up the cavern, they stoppt to see who was opened it?       ...Samara from fhae RING!
She reached sexily w/ a pallid hand.  They take.  She heaved them all out thru the toilet.
The implosion was still in hawt pursuit, the toilet almost puked it out-- but Samara closed the lid.
+ROFLPAUL I LUV U WILL U MARRY ME B MY FOREVER!!!???+
“wAT no way, man. “ RoflPaul sneered ” U tri to kill me, member?”
+Only cause i wuv u.  C, Imma ghost so the only way for us to be togedder was to kill u i'm sorry pls+
RoflPaul could nut refuse- the matted hair, the blanch skin and gaping cave eyes, she was drop-dead sexy, (geddit?)
RoflPaul took her wet cadaverous hand in hers, makin a squeeky sound like 2 frogs doing the grind “Imma sorry my lil voodoo doll, I'll kill myself soon ass I can butt 1st I gotta take care of somefink impotent.”
OK     she left 2 go find a ring
¿"now what do we do 00?" Axed PtB? As the trio left da girls room into Prague City.
“You may DIE!” Said something dark, sinister, and selfy-aware.
A Random Scottish Fanfic Chapter 13
DISCLAIMER:
This passage is not intended to defame or implicate any heretofore mentioned individuals or parties.
The primary characters are loosely based on actual persons.  Their group occupation is to critique bad fanfiction, and the goal is merely to emulate that badness and provide a good laugh.
Please support the efforts of LRM Reading on youtube by watching their videos.  www.youtube.com/user/LRMReading
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I've stopped twice on the side of a road last week and thought to myself: 'what if another recession is, indeed, headed our way?' I have some savings and a sizable inheritance in an account that might give me a good enough down-payment so I can actually pay for my own home in full while I'm still alive; but if in the time it takes before I am allowed to access it- three whole years- how pitiful will its spending power have become?  Everybody knows that cash in the bank will just sit there loosing value, assuming the bank it is in does not go down, and adding to it with paychecks in this economy is like filling a growing pool with a shrinking hose.  So what's a body to do?
    All that changes, though, after one buys precious metals.  Their riches are transmuted into gold or silver, which has a magical immunity against the 'hard times.'  Just ask 17th century Spain!  Yet, if I were to buy from any old vender in town, there will be the risk of running into a sly one that may have exaggerated the worth just slightly.  What I had better do is find completely impartial extrapolations on prices per ounce per karat that will tell me with confidence how much gold is when.  (Shouldn't be difficult- impartial and reputable economists just roam the streets, ready to divulge such crucial information to fellow consumers!)
    Perhaps I should buy one of those trendy DVD or booklet tutorials on how to create portfolios?  You know, the ones made by self-acclaimed professional investors that were able to divine the financial fallout of 2008 using the highly complicated heuristic: bubbles always pop.  The ones that are now explaining how the sky is the limit with gold.  Why else was the escalator to heaven made out of the stuff?  
    Better yet, why not also ask the vendors themselves how soon gold prices will reach infinity.  Some of them, however, do not look to sell to me, but buy my grandfather's old gold lighter or my Great Aunt's old WW1 British tea set encrusted with gold edges.  In due time, but not at that puny price!  First-off I must deal with the equally naļve sellers.  It perplexes me to no end as to why they'd sell, now.  Why stop the gravy train short?  Do they really think they see a peak up ahead?  Oh.
    So that's the game, is it?  What comes up must come down.  Buy in bulk then wait as long as you can, then when growth in starts to level out, panic and sell it all before we take the plunge.  Too bad about the stubborn ones that don't get the news flash soon enough.  The more they bought, the more they've lost, and you are partly to blame.  That's alright, though, so long as I came out ahead- but wait?  What if we're just stopping for just a breath?  Then there is still some filthy lucre to make!  The opportunity to make even more out of less.
    O, when I finally decide to cash these investments, I'll be swimming in mullah!  Once I calculate for inflation, I'll be able to buy anything!  Anything!  I could even… make a good enough down-payment so I can actually pay for my own home in full while I'm still alive.

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InfraredMoth
&#x2193;Stevan Vicar Daudz
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↑ I think Theodore Geisel, Samuel Clemmens, and Michael Crichton had the right idea.
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:iconaskthegreateddy-dini:
Question Answered [link]
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:iconinfraredmoth:
InfraredMoth Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. You won't be able to guess just how many times I checked to see how close you were to mine.
You really pull off a good Eddy.
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:iconaskthegreateddy-dini:
{{ Thank you kindly~ ♥ }}
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:iconflytewizard:
FlyteWizard Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Student Photographer
Thank you for adding "Silhouetted Puppy" to your :+fav:'s :D
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Bounce-the-Webcomic Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the :+devwatch: :D
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AskEddTheAstute Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
"Thank you for watching me! Also I must say, I do like your 'deviantID' picture. It's simple, elegant, fits your name, and moths are absolutely fascinating!"
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JK-Antwon Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks 4 watching!
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Mishudo Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2012  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for the favourite ! :la:
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BloodyWoman Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
THANK YOU FOR THE FAVE! =D
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:iconinfraredmoth:
InfraredMoth Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your stuff kind of reminds me of Federico Vigil. It took me a few looks to figure out it wasn't organic. (That's a good thing.)
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